Coffee with My Younger Self: Reflecting on Growth
Written by Leigh Ann Errico
Have you seen the TikTok trend about having coffee with your younger self? As someone who has spent over 20 years coaching leaders, I know the power of reflection—of looking back to see just how far we’ve come.
This viral trend, inspired by a poem from Jennae Cecilia, author of Deep in My Feels, encourages you to imagine sitting down with a younger version of yourself over a cup of coffee. What were their hopes and fears? How would they see the person you’ve become?
Poem written by Jennae Cecelia
Psychologists suggest this exercise is powerful because it reminds us of the struggles of youth—the uncertainty, the dreams, the pain of becoming. As a mom of four teenagers, I see firsthand how challenging it is to navigate life’s twists and turns. And if you find yourself shedding a tear while reflecting, it might be because you're acknowledging just how much you’ve endured, how uncertain the future can feel, or simply how exhausting it is to be human—the good, the bad, and the messy.
Leigh Ann today (right) and her childhood self (left).
So, I decided to sit down for coffee with 19-year-old Leigh Ann. Here’s how it went:
☕ We were both a few minutes late—because some things never change. We hugged, smiled, and ordered the same thing: a café latte with whole milk and a little hazelnut.
💭 She was anxious, picking at her nails like she always did. I reassured her that, while anxiety may always be a part of her, she will learn strategies to calm her nervous system. She will be okay.
💔 She was heartbroken. I held her hand and told her that pain is real and inevitable, but a good man will never make her question her worth. One day, she will meet someone who loves and honors her—when she’s ready.
💼 She was fiercely ambitious, determined to take over the business world at any cost. I smiled and told her that success will come—with hard work and integrity. But I also warned her: if she doesn’t learn to rest, everything she’s building could crumble. Balance isn’t just a luxury; it’s survival.
👥 She worried too much about what others thought—longing to be included, to fit in. I gently reminded her that solitude isn’t something to fear. Trusting her intuition, listening to her values, and walking away from anything that doesn’t feel right will become one of her greatest strengths.
🌎 She worried about everything—afraid the sky was going to fall. I told her that while life is unpredictable, she must focus on what’s in her control. The rest? Let it go. And most importantly, be fully present—because life will move fast, and she needs to make every moment count.
And if current-day Leigh Ann and 19-year-old Leigh Ann were to sit down with our childhood self over a tea, we’d both laugh and gently tease our youngest self about those heavy bangs. Those bangs symbolize our journey—sometimes messy, always evolving, but undeniably a part of the story.
If you were to sit down for coffee with your younger self, what would you say? What advice would you give? What would they be most surprised to learn about the person you’ve become?
Take a moment to reflect. You may be further along than you think.
